well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
