im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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