I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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