...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
