Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
