First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
