I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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