I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
