those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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