Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
