Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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