That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
