If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
do herpes really smell.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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