can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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