"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
