Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
