You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
