McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
