I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your penis caused this!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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