Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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