I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
