you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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