This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
