fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
