I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
