How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
