And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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