There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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