My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
