I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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