he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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