Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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