exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
