You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
