are you still at the devil's house?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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