summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
