i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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