Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
