bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
