they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
