Your tits are I can't wait for
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
