Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Alive.
So much puke
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
