I feel great
I just peed on a car
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't deserve a penis
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
