sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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