I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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