Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
