Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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