we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
