So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
