I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
