Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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